New LJ.






I don't want to read this one again.

I want to be happy for him, I really, really do...



Just how can I be happy when it's killing me inside?

"I would like to thank you
for showing me a part of myself I had never seen
Yeah we were young and dumb
but it still was fun
and I guess these things just tend to fall apart."


Well, Aiden.
You did it again.
Single-handedly you managed to ruin the one thing you had going for you.
on the longest day of your life.


and that interview today, seriously.
what the hell?



and now you're upset because you don't have anyone to kiss you goodnight.
No shit.
You managed to be so fucked up you drove away the one person you love.
Real smart,kiddo.

Aiden Mickale, you're a real smart one.
Requirements for my next boyfriend:

1. 5'9"
2. Brown eyes, and none of thaat light shit.
3. Superhero stance.
4. A boy I can lay with and just stare at clouds and dream.
5. I want a boy who likes neon purple.
6. I want a boy who can write.
7. one who likes forget-me-nots
8. amd laughs when i break out in song.
9. i want a boy who calls me after cugary drinks.
10. and a boy who understands tthat sometimes i dont know why im upset
11. i want his cure for everything to be a kiss.
12. I want a boy who is SO gay he worked at A-E-A-E-O.
13. He must have two sisters and a brother.
14. He must have a little cousin addicted to YAOI.
15. He needs to be a romantic.
16. MUST have the initals DC.
17. Must be somewhat mysterious
18. Must be able to make jokes about the wondertwins and sex.
19. Must be eighteen.
20. Must be living in Flordia
21. Must be a sweetheart.
22. And must,must,must love me back.

I just got my ass broken up with.
ohhh what what?




OKAY THEN.
That is 280 ( two hundred eighty) bucks I won't have to shell out to buy that stupid fucking thing.
That is 1 (One) less thing to stress me out.
That is 1 (one) less reason not to kill myself.
That is 1 (one) Aiden turned heartless.



New start, I guess.
Here I go again.


We're gonna be 'friends' which is kind of impossible.
You can't work backwards.
I give it two weeks.

I really hate myself, which doesnt matter anymore.

I think I hate lots of things.


but its cool.
its great.
i'm going to go get something to drink.
FUCK YOU LIVER.
Please fail.

 OLIVIA IS THE BEST FRIEND ANY GAY MAN COULD EVER ASK FOR. (and she's pretty hot, too)

I swear, swear, swear to god.
I did not just spend an entire hour on photobucket looking at 2D and Murdoc.
SWEAR TO GOD I WASN'T LISTENING TO FEEL GOOD INC WHILE DOING IT.


AND ON TOP OF THAT [[-snicker- Ontop. > <]] I am sooooooo not wishing Devon was here right now to calm my stressssed out nerves.



Yesterday was good.
Yesterday, yesterday was nice.
But I always miss him so bad after a day like that.
When every single move he makes is perfect, and I'm left speechless.
And I lie in bed for hours, just thinking and thinking untill the sun rises, and i realize that I need to think for Jussssssssst a while longer, just to hit  it.
And his name lingers on my lips, the first thing I say as I wake.
I like that.
I only wish he was here to answer me.


I love you, Devon Cisneros.

Love, love,LOVE,lovelovelove


I've been finding myself completely and totally in love.
And I've been finding I don't mind.




Happy Three Months, Angel.
[[as purple as I could get it. D:]]

Ohh my god.
xDD
I love this boy.






OHH MY GOD.
KTOthelloDesires: xDDDD My roommate and friends are like laughing at me and saying that I'm molesting the spooon.
KTOthelloDesires: But it's the sugar that I'm swallowing. So. Wouldn
KTOthelloDesires: 't it be the sugar that's getting harassed?
redblue wires: NO the sugar is like the
redblue wires: the cum of the spoon!
KTOthelloDesires: Spoon cum.
KTOthelloDesires: A new alternative.
KTOthelloDesires: xDD That makes swallowing much easier. I'll show this to the girls!
redblue wires: -Falls over-
redblue wires: Ahaha.
redblue wires: I'll coat somethign elseee in sugars.
KTOthelloDesires: Gaaasp.
KTOthelloDesires: Are we speaking of the same something else?!


AHAH.
AHAHAHAHHAHAA.
This is a fun night
Andy think's I'm really sick though because my  body is sort of yellowish and I feel light headed
and my hands are numb.He's like
"SHIT maybe your liver shut down."

Please nooo god.



God, I love this movie.
I find the guy that pinnochio turns into a donkey with.
Very hot.
His fucking.
Face and red hair.
MMn.
I really  want Devon pleasee.



TANGERINE LOLLYPOP LEAF.the end.

STRIKE OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Another pointless entry from Mr.Aiden Cisneros.



I really like the sound of thattt.

But I'm ahead of myselff.

Or not.

Sometimes, sometimes I say without thinking, because every relationship I've been in was doomed from the start.
But this is not to blame, it's not an excuse I'm gonna use.
Because this time, this time I love that boy with everything in me.
I set my alarm on my winter vacation JUST to talk to him before he goes to work, or I stay up allll night, just so he's the first one I talk to before my head hits my pillow.
And this one I want to work. [[note to self, want isn't spelled wan't.]]
[[That's won't, you're thinking of.]]
And last night, he had baddd timing.
But that isn't to blame either.
I could go "I was drunk!" But thatt isn't to blame, nonono.
I think myself into a frenzy, and once I get something into my mind, it's hard to get it out.
I seriously sat her last night, with all these whatif's running around in myhead that grew into these monsters in my heart, biting and gnawing away at it.
And the minute I was giving up and giving in, about to fight them off with sleep-
There he was wanting a good night kiss.
HELLO DYNAMITE EMOTIONS.CAN YOU HEAR ME?
LEARN NOT TO EXPLODE WHEN JUST A KISS IS NECESSACARY.
Hello Aiden, learn not to bottle them up.
Not everything has to be a fight, if you'll just god fucking damn talk to the boy.
Lord knows you should.

And this song is still amazing, even when I have a smile on my lips froms peaking to him a second ago.
And I know we're still together, and I'll always be your valentine<#
But Devon, be mine.
Be my valentine right back.
Only mine, and promise.

I'mma try to control my temper, I'll try not to get too jealous of Lulu [[who I owe an email, OH SHIT. I promised><]]
I saw the movie last night, but I didn't see it, because i wanted to be home, I left early.
Half ran for as much as I could.
I tried to give you your goodnight kiss at an earlier time, beautiful boy.
But I couldn't.
And maybe if I ran a little faster, all of this could of been avoided.
But Devon Cisneros, you are a very very special boy.
You are the one boy who I am willing to let in. I'm gonna try.
I'm going to try to be more open, try to state my opinion without waiting ten minutes AFTER we're done with that topic.
We don't need to stop this relationship.
Annd I reallly don't know how to take things slow so, you're gonna  have to teach me.
But my heart?
Yeah, uhm, that's yours.
YOURS.
I take my heart, open your chest, and want it to beat as yours.
Accept?